If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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