And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
