Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
