I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize