at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
