White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
