pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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