I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize