we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize