butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
