i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
We are two peas in an std pod
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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