Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
