so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
