I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
