Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
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On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
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Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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