Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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