During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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