Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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