The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
