Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Your mouth is God's brothel.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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