She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
