I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
