She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
