I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
