Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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