She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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