my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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