I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
