I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
