I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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