Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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