Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
