apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
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would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
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There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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