I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
