I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
