Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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