I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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