it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
