so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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