What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
