real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
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I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
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Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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