He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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