I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
