Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
