On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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