Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
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