I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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