It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
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There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
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Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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