i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
