We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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