Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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