he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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