My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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