Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
