Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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