Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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