so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I have already put on my inside pants.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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