Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
