haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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