Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
It's just like the Real World with babies
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize