my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
