Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
