based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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